Love isn’t enough

Mark Manson writes his article here about some harsh truths when it comes to love and just simply: Love is not enough. It is so true, yet we all continue to settle with situations, behaviors and treatment because – we love them.

Before we get to the love, this also applies to when you are dating someone. The more I get older, the more I realize love and attraction is just not enough.

My list that I sent into the universe last year in order to attract the right men is the following:

  1. Attractive to me
  2. Fun and makes me laugh
  3. Affectionate
  4. Same if not better financial situation and career as me
  5. Future goals and plans
  6. Can introduce them to my family
  7. Loyal
  8. Wants to get married and have children
  9. Loves to travel

I believe all of them except number 6,7,8 you can determine from the first few dates. It’s early on enough to figure out if you going to continue to see this person or not. And early enough before you let them in your home or go home with them.

I don’t think my list is unattainable, there is one person that ticks all the boxes on this list, but like the title suggests, love isn’t enough and we have geographical distance between us among other things, so only time will tell.

For some reason before I wrote this list 12 months ago – I was settling or putting up with a lot that today I wouldn’t even give them a chance.

I’m in a different stage of my life where by I need someone to be at least the same financial situation, or worse is okay as well as long as there is long term plan to get to a better situation (List number 5). I’ve been there as well, I’ve had no job or run through my savings but of course I’ve had a plan and it would have been nice if my boyfriend at the time saw that potential.

Last few years before my ‘law of attraction list’, I felt like once guys realized I had my shit together would really push a ‘relationship’ on me early on. And if I was vulnerable or lonely that may have worked, but luckily I realized quickly what was happening – they had a place to stay, they had food and even had a car if they needed. Especially if their situation was worse then mine – I was being used for my hospitality and generosity.

I want to go out and plan things together and have fun, if you can’t contribute your way, no matter how much fun we have or attraction is there is then this will not work. Short term there is solutions if you really love someone, but this cannot be for the long term.

I feel like the first few dates of getting to know someone, don’t lift your wallet. As soon as you’ve even paid 10AED for parking or tip, it’s like a light goes off in their head that you are here because you like them and AREN’T using them for a free night out so they sit back and expect it going forward. It’s so off putting I can’t explain how badly this annoys me. I’ve got so many horror stories when it comes to money and men. I don’t know how I let them all get away with it.

You need someone who compliments you, and is compatible in every aspect.

For this, no matter how much you try – love really isn’t enough.


Ironically, my shirt says ‘let love shine’.

Lipstick & Eyes: @Sleek makeUP


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faux lips

I’ve taken so many photos of this look and ended up going nowhere to show it off  – how is it that you always look on point when you aren’t going to see anyone? If you’ve noticed I’m back to brunette again.. so I also feel with brown hair nudes and dark colours work the best for makeup. With blonde hair, pretty pinks and bright colours really are wow.

In love with this glam vintage look though – I’m going to perfect it a bit more and write about each element more and more so you all can take some tips. Please let me know what you think.

For today’s post – faux big lips. Unless you are unfortunate enough to have Kylie’s thin lips, I really don’t believe in fillers and botox, most things can be fixed or enhanced with makeup unless it is something you really feel will help your confidence and in that case, do you and make sure you got to a reputable beauty clinic.

Just remember to look after your skin, wear sunscreen, drink water.


FAUX LIPS / Lips without fillers:

  1. I’ve used Huda Beauty Foundation #fauxfilter, a few shades lighter then my skin. I use this on my skin for contouring only as I feel her foundation is too heavy for a full face foundation. I’ve teamed it with Maybelline Fit Me foundation.
  2. Cover your whole lips and upper lip in either a concealer or a lighter shade foundation (I’ve used HudaBeauty).
  3. Taking a darker shade liner that you want to use on your lips… outline OUTSIDE your lips. I’ve used MAC brown lip liner.
  4. Fill your lips with a shade lighter, here I’ve used lip liner Smiling Kuwait brand.
  5. On the inside bottom and top sections of the lip fill with even lighter shade lipstick. Here I’ve used Sportsgirl Barely There ($10!)


The above formula works on any shade you want for your lips. I’ve used nudes and browns as I’ve kept my eyes very dark.

Bodysuit: Namshi 


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Don’t force it…

Don’t force it – the eyeliner, your makeup, the connection, the date, the second date – love. Don’t force situations… if it is meant to be, it will be.

This is easier said then done isn’t it but I wish I knew this last few years. I think I mentioned before the american I fell for  – I fell for him because of the unbelievable connection we had, for the words he was telling me, and I was getting swept up in the moment (fast). Then once you are in that moment – you start to force things. When you going to see each other next, the good morning texts, high expectations of your time together or how you going to look when you see each other.

He pulled away from me only a few months after we started seeing each other, to the point he was even seeing other women and retracted invitations he once gave me to join him on holiday, for me to visibly see he was spending it with someone else.

He hurt me, but to my own fault I should have just let the law of attraction take it’s course. I take responsibility for crying in front of him, for putting pressure on expectations and the future and assuming we were in a committed relationship.

Don’t force it. What will be, will be. When it is right you will know.

The difference between women and men, is we usually know quite quickly – we have strong instincts. I knew, but he didn’t. I should have let him find out and maybe he would have come back to me faster.  He did end up coming back to me – sitting in front of me saying he loved me.  He saw what life was like without me in it, and he appreciated his life with me in it, and now he can’t imagine life without me. (ok he didn’t say this but sometimes you got to believe it’s the things that go unsaid that mean the most)

So what is the issue with men and commitment or not knowing the rare diamond they see before them? Freedom. When I saw him pull away, I should have let him. Men are so so scared of losing their freedom when they meet someone or start to have feelings for someone then usually they do something to sabotage it.

So what’s freedom – well my messages asking how he was – stopped. He needed to see the difference in me caring about him and asking about him.

Messages stopped. Instagram posts stopped and I unfollowed him. If I got a message about meeting up, I would say I can’t afford to, I don’t have the money to come to see you anymore. If he tried to reconnect, I would always answer back but never continued the conversations.  No more goodnight, no more good mornings.

Whatever happens with anyone in my life, I will take this away with me – never force it, if they want you they will come get you, if it is meant to be it will be.


Dress: Fashion Nova 

Eyes: Too Faced chocolate eye shadow palette: Honey Dip & Butterscotch

Lips: MAC viva glam

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Looking good is no accident

Makeup Look:

Eyes- MAC organge eyeshadow, black liner

Lips: Huda Beauty Lip Kit pencil trophy wife with Sportsgirl Barely There lipstick

Face: MAC concealer, Fenty Beauty Foundation

I use to go to work looking basic at best. I hated my job and when mum saw me she was appalled and would say, you know if you put on some makeup and brush your hair you would already feel 100% better about going to work because you’d feel better in yourself.

This is absolutely correct. Now I wear heels to work, put a nice outfit together and do my makeup everyday. It’s not for anyone else – except myself.

When I go out – dates, friends, night out, I will always wear a lot more makeup as I just love the whole process of getting ready.

And then when you are looking good, you feel good. You walk through crowds with an air of added confidence. I like reading the signs of the guys I’m dating when we go out –  I find nothing sexier in a man who is confident when they are walking side by side with their girl. They don’t feel insecure because other men are looking at her, they feel confident and blessed that they are walking next to a woman that is turning heads – and I like that. A red flag is definitely men who don’t take it as a positive. Like the Part 1 story I wrote about – the date with Mr Grey. He was so offended and annoyed that a man at the restaurant did a double take on me and glared. I said “so why does that bother you? I’m with you – its not like he would come up to me”. He said “it’s disrespectful to me, I’m walking right next to you”. Not that I got even one compliment from Mr Grey anyway so the random strangers stare in the restaurant boosted my confidence for a minute. This was a red flag in my head as well – imagine a relationship with someone who gives you no compliments and is insecure picking fights when someone looks twice at you.

The american who I actually fell in love with (I wrote about in this article) he was the opposite. He loved walking next to me and seeing the looks I would get from men. Because with the attention from men, also came attention from women – all of a sudden we are an attractive couple walking through a hotel lobby and people stop to take notice. He was so proud that I was walking with him and in turn I felt more confident and loved walking with him. This is a man who appreciates the fact this woman has the attention of any man but she’s standing walking with him.

A lady gave me a compliment awhile ago when I was with someone who I wrote about here as well – she smiled and said wow you are so beautiful ‘ma’shallah’. My man turned to me with the largest smile on his face and said “see baby I tell you all the time you look beautiful”. Yeah mate you tell me cause you should tell me – but to hear it from a woman, and also in front of you… well that’s just made my day because only women know the true effort we go to look good – and it’s no accident.

Bodysuit: Namshi

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For the Gram

This is one disaster date that needs three parts. Key lessons I received from this date will stay with me forever, mostly because some incidences are scarred in my memory.

Firstly, this part is about how Instagram’s perception can really be what and who you attract positively or negatively.

Last year I mentioned before, I lost a lot of weight and really changed my body shape for the good. I was travelling more and visiting countries I wanted to get off my bucketlist (USA, Croatia, Canada). Sometimes my sister was with me to take all the photos, I was posting a lot, I was happy and in general I really was loving life and myself!

This particular guy – I’m going to call him Mr Grey for a number a reasons that I will get to. Mr Grey and I followed each other on Instagram for at least over a year. He posted a lot of adventure shots, very active, also liked to party, loved to travel and was from the states with what it seemed a great career and focus in life.

Date 1: I liked that he organized and planned the whole date. He suggested the places, sent me links and was all in all very well thought through plan. Little did I know his organization was actually Instagram obsession. He was only choosing these places because he wanted the ‘photo’ for Instagram. I found this out on the last location of the date.

He picked me up. Didn’t say you look nice, was awkward in the greeting and no eye contact whatsoever in the car. I will let this slide though he could be nervous. I was telling him over message that such a fancy restaurant I needed to work out an outfit (kind of hinting I was excited for the date). Towards the end of the night he actually mentioned “you wanted to pick a nice outfit but you end up wearing a sheet”. Eh what?! Red flag 1 – no compliments and on top of that actually putting me down in what I was wearing.

We spoke about a lot during our date, some of it was good but I couldn’t help but have weird feelings on some of our subjects. This is also a major thing to look out for – trust your intuition. If you aren’t feeling the vibe, wrap it up as soon as you can and go.

Towards the end of the date it was clear he was Instagram obsessed. Which is so off putting. He kind of had a few digs at me about my photos (so why are we meeting then?), and then preceded to show me a girl (Instagram model) who wanted him. He sat there on her account picking her to shreds, she’s not natural, this or that or this or that.

I don’t like putting down other women through Instagram. Mr Grey if you got so much of an issue with her fake body why are you following her?

He said to me “your Instagram is obvious you are thirsty for men” (he said something else but it’s pretty vulgar I don’t want to repeat it). I was like “what seriously mine?”

He tried to cover it up saying well your single for sure because no man would let their woman take pictures like that and if you and I were serious you would have to tone them down.

I said well you don’t realize why I put pictures up like that. I’m really proud of what I’ve accomplished and the purpose is to empower a positive body image for all women. Plus once I’m in a relationship, the only difference is my man would be in the pictures and taking the pictures! I’m still going to be in a bikini on the beach, but he’s going to be next to me.

I then realized even I had perceived him as someone he wasn’t – due to his Instagram. The guy from Instagram was fun, social, loved to travel and stay fit and active. The guy I met was socially awkward, quite disrespectful to women (that is in part 2), no real future plans and only did half of his life experiences for the gram! After this complete disaster date, he was even more pushy with his messages to me. I posted a really nice picture that my friend had taken of me professionally (he was practicing and also for his folio). I got a DM from Mr Grey…. “eh take this down”.

Sorry mate – my page. Not yours.

Anyway this was a long time ago. And it wasn’t even a part of the reason I deleted a lot of my Instagram pictures, because my answer still stands on that. But I also don’t want men I’m dating or just met to perceive me as something I’m not right now. My mindset this year has changed with who and what I want to attract this year – Read my most recent Instagram post @katyedxb for more on this, and for some extra positive happiness for a Tuesday.

You are attracting what you put out there… and for last year I was definitely attracting my share of men who wanted only what was on the gram.


Location: South Beach, Miami (isn’t this pink lifeguard tower to die for?)

Coverup/dress: Aussie label Talulah 

Full Piece Green Swimmers: H&M

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Choose kind over cool.


Yesterday I watched a new post by Matthew Hussey on first date tips: how to impress a guy on a first date. I like Matthew Hussey’s stuff. If you get over the sales pitch at the end of very video then all in all he’s great. I’ve read his books and at one point even subscribed to his (expensive) program.

In this dating tips video he explains how important it is to make a first impression and one of those tips is “be kind to those around you”.

Seems like common sense doesn’t it? I feel like I’m always friendly to hospitality staff, maybe because I use to be one – I’m not sure. But it costs nothing to smile, say please, thank you, ask someone where they are from (in Dubai this is a nice question to ask to make conversation with a stranger) or how there day is.

His dating tip reminded me of one of the most disastrous dates I’ve ever had, actually  so bad that I had chosen to erase it from my memory until I watched Matthew’s video yesterday.

Small Man Syndrome Date

In Dubai as we know, it’s all about showing off and even though I couldn’t care less, this guy insisted on meeting at Zuma. He greets me warmly, we order drinks and sushi but he is quite an intense person. Most of the conversation was about his ex girlfriend (red flag). I noticed in real life he looked way shorter then he did in his pictures. Insert: SMALL MAN SYNDROME  For the record – height doesn’t bother me like other women, but when they are egotistical, arrogant asses in order to substitute for their lack of height… well this bothers me. He started to get into a bit of a tantrum about the AC on him. Yep – The AC. He was flaring his arms and going up to the fan to try and turn it away, it was really causing a scene in a what is a very busy and sophisticated after work bar (well it is Zuma so come on little man you need to chill).

The waitress serves him the sushi then he starts yelling at her about the AC. I thought he was joking so I was kind of laughing it off until I realized he was deadly serious about this AC, she said she would go and find someone to move it away for him. She was lovely actually but he was getting more and more angry at HER about the damn AC.

She comes over and says “Sir it’s set to a particular temperature as it’s a large area we need to keep cool, if I can find you another seat I will move you straight away. How was your sushi?” 

He puts his hand in her face and says “stop talking and get away from me”. I said in front of her, come on don’t say that. She tried to keep reasoning with him, I think she really felt worried for her job as he is insisting on her to call for the manager. He still had his hand in her face, she looks at me with kind of desperate look about her and I shook my head (sort of a I don’t know him shake). She leaves and goes to get her manager. Poor girl.

He leaves in a tantrum and says I’m going to stand outside to warm up/take this phone call /whatever/who cares. I called her over and said – listen don’t even bother, he’s being a child and this has nothing to do with you, this is the first time I’m meeting him and the way he’s talking to you is unacceptable. I never want to see him again. It’s not your fault and I can talk to the manager if you like. She then said to me, “I’ve had the worst the day, he just added to my horrible day and I did just go and cry. Not about him but you know, just one of those days”. 

Man that upset me. This little man child tantrum thrower was so rude and obnoxious to this poor woman that whatever she was dealing with that day was so bad that he tipped it over the edge enough for her to cry.

I waited for him to get back and asked him why he took out his frustrations on this girl. Was it to impress me? Was it because of something else you were going through that day? Why would you think this behavior was okay? He kind of listened, apologized to me (not her) and we continued until he finished his damn sushi. He went on more about his ex girlfriend (yawn) and finally said he wanted to leave to check out a DJ he liked at a crap club up the road. I said, I’m okay I’m going to call it a night, thank you for the drink.

He offered to drop me home / at least in the area of his club, all the while saying ‘this isn’t my car by the way its a replacement as my BMW/AUDI/MERC (whatever the hell he’s pretending he was driving) was in the shop‘. I said It’s fine mate I have a Nissan“. 

Eh. Goodbye and good riddance weird little man. Makeup and outfit wasted.

The way people treat strangers, says so much for their character. This was to the extreme, but  if your date doesn’t say please, thank you and have basic manners – this is a massive red flag – and get out while you can. Also just be kind always – you don’t know what someone is going through and you being mean or rude could be the line that makes their day go from bad to worse. Don’t be that person 😦



Peachy Keen Makeup: I love orange eyeshadow, here I’m using orange by MAC. The lipstick I chose a nude as I feel the orange makes my lips look smaller. Lashes and Black eyeliner. MAC blush in pink so it’s around the same colour tones.


Top: Primark bodysuit


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Stop looking for the right person and be the right person.

I’m writing this on Easter Sunday. And I’ve noticed as the weekend started to approach, at least least three guys I know that have once told me they don’t want a relationship anytime soon, all having Baecations and their girl proudly photographed all over their Instagram. I noticed the same around Christmas and New Year with another lot of self profound ‘players’. So I do truly hope it’s not a holiday coincidence and these men actually manned up to realize what beautiful women they have in their lives.  But anyway, time will tell.

The conversations these guys once had with me is  “I’m not really looking for a relationship, I don’t see myself with anyone just yet, I’m happily single (and probably breaking girls hearts along their player ways), I don’t have time, focusing on my career” etc etc.

It just shows it doesn’t matter what an amazing woman you are, and what to offer in a relationship – you really will never be enough for a man who just doesn’t see himself with you, or willing to change his ways for you. Sometimes it just takes the right person to come along to make these men realize what they have and then they change their tune real quick.

I’ve had friends who’ve dated men that have said they never want to get married,  then after a few years, break up and find out the guy’s met a girl, got married, having babies.

I was talking to my personal trainer the other day about this blog post’s subject and she was saying the same about her husband. When they met, he outright told her he’s happy being single and won’t be changing that anytime soon, he never wants to get married – he’s wants to live with his mum for the next few years and just be a player. And now – well – he’s her husband.

I had long and serious relationships with two guys in Dubai, who I loved very much. Who I gave my all into the relationship, stayed loyal and most importantly supported their dreams and goals – only to be left broken at the end because inevitably they didn’t want to go the next step… ah mate okay do you think you could have figured that out 2 years ago?  They both moved on into their next relationships and I’m left wondering what I did wrong for the relationship to go so sideways.

And that’s just it. I did nothing wrong. I actually did too much. Don’t be a wife to a boyfriend. Tell yourself that really you will NEVER be enough for a man who isn’t ready. You can’t talk a man into changing his ways – if he wants to he will. Some of us have the happy ending and some of us need to cut our losses on wasting wife material on the boyfriends and find the men that want to step up as our partner.

And it just brings it back to my last blog post: take care of yourself, believe the person you’re suppose to be with is out there, give your husband wishlist to god and let him do the work,  fall in love with your life and yourself all over again… and just have vacations with your girls or on your own, until someone is lucky enough to come along.

Happy Easter Singles 🙂



Gucci Hucci Shirt: Culture Kings Women 

Simple Makeup: Sportsgirl nude lipstick (barely there) | lashes | Brown eyeliner Maybelline |Fenty Beauty skin.

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