Enhancing not changing (makeup & men) 

I’ve learnt the hard way, falling for words and sometimes actions, ambition (which is very important) without finding out their plan B if that ambition fails.

Don’t fall for the lust without interpreting the bigger picture of this man in front of you. You can’t change someone and as much as you love their ambition, how realistic will their dreams come to fruition and how much support (sometimes funding) from you is needed?

Don’t get me wrong you can invest and fall in love with a broke man that has ambition, goals and a very straight out plan to get there – maybe he’s studying, or investing in something new, an up and coming artist or he’s just starting his own business out and it will be a few years of struggling but with a wonderful outcome of reward and you’ve been standing next to him this whole time.

But it comes to a point now I’m filtering men, dates and potiental love interests so that I never waste my time (or money) again.

There is a difference between supporting and funding and enhancing but not changing. And I can’t take on any “projects” at this time in my life. I want to find my one, who we support one and other equally and set out plans together and have all that future in common with each other.

First: Makeup Enhancing not Changing

Simply lots of mascara, light shades on the eyes to appear brighter and bigger. This is pink shades from TooFaced Holiday Chocolate Shop Palette.  Huda Beauty Lip Kit – Trophy Wife

Top: Nike sold on Namshi


Back to this sorting through to find Mr Right: Be ambitious, have a plan, hey you can even be joke broke. But if I don’t believe in your goals and you’ve got no definite life plan to success –  then I can’t afford any money or energy on you while we date and fall in love. You can’t use me for a little bit of money here and there and get comfortable being with an independent woman who confuses supporting you with funding you. Cause as it’s happened before, while he’s struggling and you are supporting, he gets comfortable and then the timeframe of success slowly starts to go but for me – it’s too late I’ve fallen in love with him and his “future” dreams.

By the first date you can figure out all the above without getting to ahead of yourself. Think with your head before your heart. If this person needs changing and a lot of investment (time, energy, money) in order to grow and get to his goals – then he’s not the man for you.

Oh and buying me a drink doesn’t justify you get anything in return – kiss, going home with you, touching me, a second date, nothing. That’s another post though – if there is no chemistry then it’s ok to take the drink and say goodnight.

Bring something to the table or I’m very happy to eat alone.

Posted in Disaster Dubai Dates, Fashion & Friends, Let's Makeup, Relationships & Self love | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Dating in Dubai – Don’t waste my makeup!  

Another lesson I learnt from dating in Dubai and I guess this applies to any city in the world. You will always come across these men who don’t really make a plan, and then when they do it’s completely on their terms because they are “so much busier then you”. This situation I got myself in has helped me since to always make a date or plan on my terms or at least compromise on one aspect.   

   
Feeling cozy and all latte in this look: Eyes: No fake eyelashes. Brown lids. Marc Jacobs brown gel eyeliner pen for eyebrows and some liner (mostly maybelline. Skin: NYX total control foundation. Benefit Hoola Bronzer.                                                 Lips: Toffee lip liner from Primark. NYX full throttle number 7 lipstick. Jacket from Forever 21. 

So this date: Mr Busy – you know the type: his time is worth oh so much more then yours. His work is busier then yours and he’s the alpha male. What he says goes. 

We had agreed on a day yet he asked me to join him the day before as well. I declined and said let’s stick to our original plan even though he was pushy about it. 

He chose the place, the time and I got the feeling like he was rushing me. I even tried to explain I lived on the other side of town but there was no compromise there. 

Let’s take a drink date as an example – it takes you one hour to get ready, give at least 30 minutes to get to this out of the way venue in at least a 20$ Taxi there and back. So you expect for this first time date and effort put in then you deserve a good few hours of getting to know this person. 

No. As soon as I got there he rushed me into the bar, we sat down, rushed to get a drink – I knew something was up. Then he shows me his phone messages from his chairman (as proof I guess but also to make him look so important) that he was told to go there and meet him straight away. 

I asked the questions: where is your office? Next door. Where is your house? Next door. 

Me: I’m on the other side of town you should have cancelled on me. He said I couldn’t do that you were already on the way and we agreed Wednesday to do this date. 

Me: I’m not unreasonable. I understand business and I also get the situation. I wish you let me know sooner I would have much rather made it another time when you aren’t in a rush, instead now we can’t even talk properly and it takes me a hour return to get here. 

Damn I was so angry. Not even 40 mins later I’m back in a Taxi, peak hour traffic to my house. Makeup and whole look wasted! Don’t you hate that? 

So the lesson from this date: compromise, let him be a man and choose the place but if you aren’t comfortable with the location, time, or any of that decision then you definitely should speak up. I would recommend that you choose the area/location and leave it up to them to narrow down a place they like. 

Also don’t feel bad in saying no, picking a time and day that suits you. There is one thing I hate – it’s last minute invitations. And then they get annoyed when that’s the only day that suits them. I don’t know you. I’m not dropping my plans. Go find another girl that’s waiting around for a free dinner / drinks and would bend over backwards for a date with you. Plenty of them in Dubai by the way. So either plan properly, with compromise or move out of the way so I don’t waste my makeup. 

Posted in Let's Makeup, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Casual Makeup to Casual Relationships

 

Lips: HudaBeauty & Sportsgirl Aus

Remember in October I mentioned someone I was seeing for months broke my heart?

Well I realized after much reflecting on the past year and those that I gave my heart and energy to that he didn’t break my heart at all… I broke my own heart by investing in someone who had no consistency and was so confused in his feelings towards me that we were never exclusive to begin with.

So why did I fall in love and was left behind?  See this American made me fall so fast I didn’t know what hit me when he suddenly wasn’t there to catch me. He was tall, handsome, funny, smart and quick witted. He had this confidence and arrogance about him that made you feel special when he invested time with you.

He not only was seeing other women, he was point blank throwing it in my face. But the mixed signals got me, one time he’d be calling me baby and asking about my father, the next I’d catch him on Tinder in front of me. He invited me to join him for his birthday overseas, then he’d go cold and I would find out he was spending his birthday with a girl that he’d met on his holiday.

I tried to talk to him last year about finding out what it is he wanted from me and ultimately us. He would avoid the conversation so I would pull away and then every now and then he would pull back in and here we go all over again.

He was Dickie from Talented Mr Ripley.

Gywenth Paltrows character Marge says: When you have his attention, you feel like you’re the only person in the world, that’s why everybody loves him so much.

It was a casual relationship that I was investing in like it was a serious commitment. I fell so hard from the beginning, holding so close all the times I thought he was investing in me and the fun moments we had together that I never noticed that in fact he wasn’t investing in me at all.

When we were together was the best thing in the world – it makes you forget the sadness and coldness that would come and go like the insconsistent weather city of Melbourne.

I fell in love with this man. Well actually I still could be to an extent because of the emotional connection I have to him. I got the courage to tell him this and that I also wanted to be with him and see where we would go seriously into a relationship. His answer was “I didn’t know you wanted to be with me” and “if keeping my life the same which is travelling the world without you and sleeping with other women is ok for you to handle then we could do that”.

So the point of this story is: No matter how many beautiful memories you have, no matter what he says to make you feel so special when you’re together, if he’s not investing in you as you are for him:  Walk away. Walk away to invest in yourself and know your worth so when someone does man up and invest in you, you will know when to give your heart, time and energy.

 

Shirt from Culture Kings Australia

The Talented Mr Ripley (1999)

The thing with Dickie… it’s like the sun shines on you, and it’s glorious. And then he forgets you and it’s very, very cold. When you have his attention, you feel like you’re the only person in the world, that’s why everybody loves him so much.

Posted in Let's Makeup, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

New Year who dis? 

I’m not going to say new year new me because I’ve got no intention of really changing who I am. I will however wish everyone an amazing start to the year and hope you feel a little bit refreshed as I do. My main goal for the end of the year is just to do less partying, more sleep, less bad stuff, more water, less worrying, more loving. 

As you can see from these photos where I’ve not just been called old, but definitely put on holiday weight. 

 
Life is short – I’m eating the damn cookie. 

 As for more loving: I’m still yet to receive a New Years kiss 💋 but I will take the “sexy old woman” instagram comment (@kaytedxb to follow me and maybe add a nice comment) 😂😂

New Years Makeup: 

Face- Fenty Beauty (I don’t know what I’ve done with foundations until this amazing invention- thanks Rhi Rhi!

Eyes: Naked Urban Decay shadow palette & maybelline liner. lashes – 5$ from chemist warehouse. 

Lips: MAC & Huda Beauty combined 

   
 

Posted in Let's Makeup | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Seeing Red

How good it is to genuinely smile for the camera? This year has been one year of happiness, sadness, happiness, sadness. I fall in love, my heart breaks. I’m the happiest when I’m single! How good of a feeling is that.

IMG_6952_edited

I’ve stopped trying now, I’ve turned into a bitch. But every now and then I give love a chance again. Thursday morning I get a message from a number not in my phone book.

“Hi Kate, you don’t know me but I feel like I know you because someone talks about you all the time to me”. “You are going through some issues so I want to help because you make him happy”.

It’s a friend of the sweet guy I spoke about before…. he went MIA on me. Anyway his friend surprised him and took me to his place so he had no choice but to talk to me. Had the best night out chilling, playing pool and talking.

Look from the weekend:

Twofaced Cosmetics – eyeshadow / Dark Purple, Pinks and green blended

Sleek Nude Lipstick over the top of brown lip liner.

Namshi bodysuit http://www.namshi.com

 

 

Posted in Let's Makeup, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

How to catch a Catfish

So I caught my first ever live catfish awhile ago. This article is about: How to not waste more then 30 minutes of your energy if you have doubts at all you are being catfished.

I’m not new to Tinder and let’s just say Tinder in Dubai is so hard to find anyone you even willing to press on, you’d have better luck finding a cool mil from Escobar’s hidden stash then you would to get a decent man from Dubai Tinder. That’s an article for another time.

On my Tinder profile, I’m pretty straight up and real what I want. Guys tell me here in Dubai 99% of girls on there are hookers (hey least they can put Social Media expert up on their LinkedIn Profile) so I want to be obvious I’m not a hooker and got my own life going on. I also link to my Instagram on there to authenticate myself. I do look different in so many photos so I try to downplay that before meeting anyone to just make sure they don’t have high expectations – I’m just really photogenic (well I am). And I am a makeup artist so yes the photos look different every time. And I know my angles (well, I’m a girl duh).

Here is me in a totally different look to my day to day – full curls and makeup. And, well you guys have seen me without makeup so you get why men are dubious when they meet me after seeing so many different looks.

IMG_5657 (1)_edited

Small curling wand to create messy curls

So I tend to do my research pretty quick when I come across a guy’s profile that catches my eye – In Dubai this is rare. If his looks, job or personality is too good to be true, then most likely he is.

Take my Catfish – Pete from London.

Pete was in town on important property project at The Atlantis (ok this story added up). Pete was Jamaican but British born and bred (this added up as well as he knew way to much about his Jamaican heritage). Very quickly we moved off Tinder onto Whatsap and his profile photo was of a boring landscape (first red flag but it can pass).  As soon as he got my Whatsap he removed me from Tinder (another red flag). I was too quick for him on this one though and had already took a screenshot of his profile before he deleted me.

The week went on and we began talking more and more… getting to know each other daily through voice notes, messages, skype to then adding on Instagram and Snap (all of it!). So many red flags here though I will explain below.

We once spoke on the phone for over an hour. After that phone call, I realized this guy was way too good to be true:  Smart, successful, wealthy, sexy, fit, well traveled, chasing after me, caring, thoughtful, ambitious, my age, good star sign, sending memes, never been married, no kids.

I asked for pictures: He said “yeah well i dropped my phone remember so i have to get home and find some, maybe I will send one from when I was in Jamaica”. *He sent another a few hours later.

I got off the phone from him and started asking some basic questions about his instagram, snap etc and my gut feeling was – he’s not who he saying he is.

Speaking to my best friend about our long conversation we had and how lovely he is, she said: just google image search him like Niev does on Catfish. And there we go…. BOOM! Say hello to Dexter Strickland of North Carolina Basketball Team…

Image result for basketball dexter strickland

Dexter Strickland NOT Pete from London

Damn I felt like a fool. But worse… spent at least a week of energy, time and getting to know someone that was CATFISHING me!

I messaged him straight away…. “Why are you catfishing me Pete? Time to fess up”.

Nothing. No answer, no explanation, nothing. To this day, I will never get my truth with that one. It’s never been about looks with me so I wish he just came clean or gave me something so I could have made my own decision up. Not just ignore me. I felt violated that someone knew so much about me yet I knew nothing about them.  Creepy feeling… anyway so here is some basic signs you can look out for, or save yourself a whole lot of time and just google image search from the beginning (trust your instinct)!

  • Add him on whatsap and see the picture (ask him for his number first)
  • Open your snap to ‘quick adds’ and see what name comes up as his Snap, before he tells you a fake account to add
  • Take screen shot of your tinder match (this is good to do anyway to remember basic info)
  • Instagram or no Instagram (I’ve got so many instagram stories that’s for next time)
  • Ask for a picture and see how long he takes to send it
  • Skype with video (applies only if he’s long distance)

Can the real Dexter Strickland please stand up? No seriously… where is this guy at.

 

 

 

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Continuous Change

The best thing about makeup is you can always change…your look, your face – hell girls are walking around the middle east all looking like a different person of themselves but all morphing into the damn same. Their idols are arabic makeup bloggers and The Kardashians – and they are a copy/paste of these women. It’s really rare to find a girl that is all natural, or unheard of – no makeup!

As you can see from my new photos compared to the old me –  the last year I’ve gone through a lot of change.

My makeup is different. I’ve lost weight. My hair is lighter and longer. I got myself a personal trainer (best money ever spent actually) and built my booty into what now is ‘in’ for girls to have. I’m curvy – but in the right places and I’ve got new found attention… which is why I come to the change in this blog… yes I’m still going to do my makeup looks, and where I recommend to go out and about in an evening. But this time things are going to get a little raw – I’m going to write about dating in Dubai. How I met them, what happened and the lesson I learnt from each.

October was a really hard month for me so I’m going to start with this. I felt like these guys were running around playing trick or treat on me from October 1st.

Within a period of one month:

  • Fell for what would be the man of my dreams only to find out later he was married with kids
  • Had my heart broken by a guy I was flying to see on the regular, even considering introducing him to my family
  • Sabotaged a relationship I was trying to start by a series of bad choices on my part
  • Had started a deep emotional connection with a…yes you guessed it – Married Guy
  • Catfished big time by a guy from London
  • Had a sweet guy was dating for awhile go MIA on me
  • Old flames, exes, random guys never even been with start popping up out of the blue (with my theory of Winter Thirst, but that’s another story)

The easiest story to start off my new found blog genre is the Catfish story. How to spot one, how to avoid it and stop wasting your time early on. So that is for tomorrow.

For today, here is my new makeup look that I tend to stick with most days as a quick and easy look:

 

Eyes: Lashes, black eyeliner Maybelline

Lips: ‘Barely There’ by Sleek and brown liner by Primark or any drugstore brand

Face: M.A.C Foundation & Blush, Makeup Forever Contour

 

Posted in Let's Makeup, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment