This is one disaster date that needs three parts. Key lessons I received from this date will stay with me forever, mostly because some incidences are scarred in my memory.
Firstly, this part is about how Instagram’s perception can really be what and who you attract positively or negatively.
Last year I mentioned before, I lost a lot of weight and really changed my body shape for the good. I was travelling more and visiting countries I wanted to get off my bucketlist (USA, Croatia, Canada). Sometimes my sister was with me to take all the photos, I was posting a lot, I was happy and in general I really was loving life and myself!
This particular guy – I’m going to call him Mr Grey for a number a reasons that I will get to. Mr Grey and I followed each other on Instagram for at least over a year. He posted a lot of adventure shots, very active, also liked to party, loved to travel and was from the states with what it seemed a great career and focus in life.
Date 1: I liked that he organized and planned the whole date. He suggested the places, sent me links and was all in all very well thought through plan. Little did I know his organization was actually Instagram obsession. He was only choosing these places because he wanted the ‘photo’ for Instagram. I found this out on the last location of the date.
He picked me up. Didn’t say you look nice, was awkward in the greeting and no eye contact whatsoever in the car. I will let this slide though he could be nervous. I was telling him over message that such a fancy restaurant I needed to work out an outfit (kind of hinting I was excited for the date). Towards the end of the night he actually mentioned “you wanted to pick a nice outfit but you end up wearing a sheet”. Eh what?! Red flag 1 – no compliments and on top of that actually putting me down in what I was wearing.
We spoke about a lot during our date, some of it was good but I couldn’t help but have weird feelings on some of our subjects. This is also a major thing to look out for – trust your intuition. If you aren’t feeling the vibe, wrap it up as soon as you can and go.
Towards the end of the date it was clear he was Instagram obsessed. Which is so off putting. He kind of had a few digs at me about my photos (so why are we meeting then?), and then preceded to show me a girl (Instagram model) who wanted him. He sat there on her account picking her to shreds, she’s not natural, this or that or this or that.
I don’t like putting down other women through Instagram. Mr Grey if you got so much of an issue with her fake body why are you following her?
He said to me “your Instagram is obvious you are thirsty for men” (he said something else but it’s pretty vulgar I don’t want to repeat it). I was like “what seriously mine?”
He tried to cover it up saying well your single for sure because no man would let their woman take pictures like that and if you and I were serious you would have to tone them down.
I said well you don’t realize why I put pictures up like that. I’m really proud of what I’ve accomplished and the purpose is to empower a positive body image for all women. Plus once I’m in a relationship, the only difference is my man would be in the pictures and taking the pictures! I’m still going to be in a bikini on the beach, but he’s going to be next to me.
I then realized even I had perceived him as someone he wasn’t – due to his Instagram. The guy from Instagram was fun, social, loved to travel and stay fit and active. The guy I met was socially awkward, quite disrespectful to women (that is in part 2), no real future plans and only did half of his life experiences for the gram! After this complete disaster date, he was even more pushy with his messages to me. I posted a really nice picture that my friend had taken of me professionally (he was practicing and also for his folio). I got a DM from Mr Grey…. “eh take this down”.
Sorry mate – my page. Not yours.
Anyway this was a long time ago. And it wasn’t even a part of the reason I deleted a lot of my Instagram pictures, because my answer still stands on that. But I also don’t want men I’m dating or just met to perceive me as something I’m not right now. My mindset this year has changed with who and what I want to attract this year – Read my most recent Instagram post @katyedxb for more on this, and for some extra positive happiness for a Tuesday.
You are attracting what you put out there… and for last year I was definitely attracting my share of men who wanted only what was on the gram.
Location: South Beach, Miami (isn’t this pink lifeguard tower to die for?)
Coverup/dress: Aussie label Talulah
Full Piece Green Swimmers: H&M