I’ve learnt the hard way, falling for words and sometimes actions, ambition (which is very important) without finding out their plan B if that ambition fails.
Don’t fall for the lust without interpreting the bigger picture of this man in front of you. You can’t change someone and as much as you love their ambition, how realistic will their dreams come to fruition and how much support (sometimes funding) from you is needed?
Don’t get me wrong you can invest and fall in love with a broke man that has ambition, goals and a very straight out plan to get there – maybe he’s studying, or investing in something new, an up and coming artist or he’s just starting his own business out and it will be a few years of struggling but with a wonderful outcome of reward and you’ve been standing next to him this whole time.
But it comes to a point now I’m filtering men, dates and potiental love interests so that I never waste my time (or money) again.
There is a difference between supporting and funding and enhancing but not changing. And I can’t take on any “projects” at this time in my life. I want to find my one, who we support one and other equally and set out plans together and have all that future in common with each other.
First: Makeup Enhancing not Changing
Simply lots of mascara, light shades on the eyes to appear brighter and bigger. This is pink shades from TooFaced Holiday Chocolate Shop Palette. Huda Beauty Lip Kit – Trophy Wife
Top: Nike sold on Namshi
Back to this sorting through to find Mr Right: Be ambitious, have a plan, hey you can even be joke broke. But if I don’t believe in your goals and you’ve got no definite life plan to success – then I can’t afford any money or energy on you while we date and fall in love. You can’t use me for a little bit of money here and there and get comfortable being with an independent woman who confuses supporting you with funding you. Cause as it’s happened before, while he’s struggling and you are supporting, he gets comfortable and then the timeframe of success slowly starts to go but for me – it’s too late I’ve fallen in love with him and his “future” dreams.
By the first date you can figure out all the above without getting to ahead of yourself. Think with your head before your heart. If this person needs changing and a lot of investment (time, energy, money) in order to grow and get to his goals – then he’s not the man for you.
Oh and buying me a drink doesn’t justify you get anything in return – kiss, going home with you, touching me, a second date, nothing. That’s another post though – if there is no chemistry then it’s ok to take the drink and say goodnight.
Bring something to the table or I’m very happy to eat alone.