I believe in ghosting to a point. I am guilty of it. It’s only OK to ghost someone at the very beginning of dating – if you are just starting conversations, after first date (only if you’ve ended the date without sleeping with them). I believe it’s much kinder to just ghost someone then it is tell them to their face “We’ve got nothing in common. I’m just not into you”. And usually if that’s the case, then feelings are mutual and the two of you can go along on your merry lives being ghosts to each other forever.
However, it’s NOT ok to ghost someone without a reason after the third or fourth date. And it’s absolutely heartbreaking to ghost someone that you’re in a relationship with. This one, I just can’t get my head around. This has happened to me. And when you are involved so serious with someone, Ghosting gives you NO closure at all and makes it impossible to move on. I was ghosted without any reason or excuse. No messages came anymore, no calls, no plans. Nothing. We’d already faded from each others SM. So literally nothing.
It’s heartbreaking, I had future plans with this guy, said I love you, wanted him to meet my family. To be just ghosted is pretty shit, but then again I look at it like this: them ghosting you is just teaching you how to live your life without them in it. Yes its hurtful at first and some sort of closure would have been better to move on faster but I was good before him, I can be good without him. *Knowing full well all ghosts return.
Ghosts that return:
- Short terms: you’ve been on a few dates, know they’ve been ghosted or ghosted you yet pop up like there was no time passed “hey how are you, what no invite?”. You are irrelevant do me a favour and forget my number.
- Long terms: Ghosted for years on end and only turn up when they see your sexy pictures becoming more frequent. Possibly seen you on Tinder in the same city so it’s confirmed your single. “hey how are you – remember when *insert some irrelevant story”. Translate: I’m single now and I remember how much fun we use to have, I don’t want to have you as my girlfriend though but i want to see you. NOT TODAY LONG TERM.
- Will not lay to rest Ghost: This is where I’ve been the ghost but I’ve given a reason and spoke about why I’m closing this relationship (or start of one) down. Replies to every insta-story, tries to call and setup to meet as ‘friends’. Ok I was trying to be nice but now mate you are just not getting it.
- Silent Ghosts: These are annoying – ghosted you, comes back years later when you are obviously hotter, adds you on Instagram and stalks your life without saying hello. Keep stalking loser, see what you missed out on all those years ago.
- Serious Ghosts: The ones I mention ghost you when you are in the middle of a serious stage or relationship. Well firstly fuck them. Secondly they return with a full blown excuse; sometimes blaming you, sometimes blaming a situation they were in. All in all don’t fall for it. These are manipulation techniques that keeps you limbo, loving them, waiting for them and not opening up to anyone else. They can’t even give you the respect to give you a call or a message to just check in but then come back and say baby i missed you so much: *insert pathetic excuse here.
Ghosting: just another way for the universe to tell us we are always going to be OK without this person in our lives… thanks for reminding me, now let me get back to me doing me.
This pics remind me of some Ghost of Girlfriend’s Past creepy haunted shit so here is the look from the weekend:
Outfit: Head to Toe from Namshi