Well into the new year and another one bites the dust. Before I get into the story about this one, I’m really proud that it’s 3 weeks into January and I’ve been sticking to my exercise routine and trying to get into a schedule of writing down my daily and weekly goals.
I’m really getting through a lot of my list and as I focus on myself more – work, my business ideas, my makeup, the house, my personal growth – all of a sudden hangers on are well, dropping off.
I’m all for keeping your options open when you begin to date someone. This stops you getting serious and excited way too soon, mistaking lust for love and so forth. So I’ve stood by this advice for a few years and depending what I see and hear from anyone I’m dating then I either stop all ‘dating’ sites, seeing other men or I just continue being open to ‘date’.
This particular guy I was quite committed to and had been going for awhile. When we were together he gave me the impression that things were going in a good direction and we always made steady plans together.
Then the shift, I noticed a few things only when I started getting really busy with my own things. Whenever I backed away, he came forward – but don’t mistake me backing away for being stupid.
A background on this guy, we did a lot together. He met my friends, little vakays, I spent always my half whenever we went out, sometimes even more. I bought him gifts, we spoke all the time, we saw each other at least on the weekends or more. But there was something in the back of my head that I was being played a little bit, I definitely wasn’t a priority in his life, but let it pass as he was really a great guy. Then my mood had gotten the better of me and I wasn’t going to let this pass.
The lies. Outright lies. As I mentioned above, I’m all for keeping your options open and I would never tell someone I’m dating that I was dating another person, but then I also wouldn’t lie either.
He cancelled plans with me as forgot he ‘had plans’. This wasn’t the first time and it’s disrespectful. Then I told him about something I wanted him to come to next week and decided to call him out on the inconsistency, how I knew something wasn’t right, there is something he’s not telling me and I really don’t like it. Silent on messaging for a few hours. Then I said, ok now you have gone MIA on me.
He said: I wasn’t hiding I’m playing a game and didn’t want you to tease me.
I wrote back: I wouldn’t tease you, and so you aren’t going to the birthday party?
No answer. Until midday next day. Which is what I would do if I was on a date or seeing someone – I would go offline. So I get it – but no response to me pouring my heart out about how I don’t like where things are going and we need to talk. Just normal chit chat the next day. So again, I pulled him up on it – I said so you just go missing and decide to talk like everything is normal? His response “I was out”. I blew up. Well what was it – playing a video game at home or out? I went on to accuse him of being out with a girl. I ended it – saying I’m hurt and disappointed but more importantly I don’t have time for your shit, I’m really busy and you just can’t reappear when it suits you.
That was the last correspondence. No answer. No nothing. No effort to meet up and talk about it. NOTHING. SILENCE. So I was right… there was another girl, the games I mentioned as being played were in fact, happening. I pulled up him up on his shit only guessing there was another girl and his lack of response was the answer I need.
I’m really really disappointed and a little sad. It’s ended but with no closure. I will never get anything out of his mouth that’s even a form of apology. I don’t deserve to be treated like this after everything I’ve done. I’m really upset, but then again wtf do I expect? I always give too much, too soon to those I care about thinking they would do the same to me. Well if you going to date other people do it without me finding out, don’t cancel plans with me at last minute and communicate. This is just bare minimum.
In Dubai, good luck finding a girl who is willing to go double dutch with you. Dick head.
On a fun note – do you like the Makeup I’ve done in this look?
Eyes: Pink Eyeshadow: NYX | Orange Eyeshadow: MAC | Eyeliner, Maybelline Liquid
Lips: Maybelline Stay Liquid Matte & MAC nude pencil
Skin: Fenty Beauty